


Are all muggles this pasty?

by Fa616ace



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Slow To Update, Snames, jeverus, magical james, maruaders era, mentioned jily - Freeform, muggle severus, the word pasty is overused in this story, witch craft is the muggle way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-19 10:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22209709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fa616ace/pseuds/Fa616ace
Summary: James -along with others- are forced to experience muggle living before they can enroll in a muggle course at Hogwarts for the experience. Lily takes pity and invites them to come to her hometown for the summer and follow her around in everyday muggle life. But her house rules are that she cannot have boys spending a night, so she offers them a stay at her muggle friend Severus's house.And merlin is he pasty.
Relationships: James Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 4
Kudos: 167





	Are all muggles this pasty?

"Why can't we stay with you?" James whined into the fireplace. Lily only shook her head and answered with a small chuckle. "Parents rule...Only the girls are allowed all-day access. Listen, I have to get going. See you in 2, alright." James only threw her a pathetic pout, earning a laugh once more until she disconnected shortly after.

It was the first week of summer but the 3rd night in at arse o'clock in the morning but here James was packing and repacking his bag. He cursed and mumbled frustrations as he once again threw something out the bag. This was stupid! Surely no muggle would see the moving picture on his Quidditch mag! It was Remus that told him, "you shouldn't have a nonexistent mag in muggle land anyway." Say's him who was stuffing as much chocolate frogs in his suitcase as possible. The list of legal Items a wizard can take in and out of muggle society laid out in the middle of his bed between the two. Chocolate frogs nowhere to been seen on the list- therefore, they're free game. Next to it, a pile of things he had to throw out to avoid them getting thrown away at the stop point.

This whole assignment was stupid, to say the least. Why would students be required to spend a summer living as Muggles in order to take a simple muggle course? James didn't have to take a creature hunting session to be enrolled in a class about dark creatures. But no, Professor Witchatah found it necessary to understand the mysteries of the Human Mind.

"Primitive things they are.".

The only good thing was that he and the boys got to tag along with Lily to her hometown for the summer. She and a small annoying lot of Gryffindor girls who only giggled and screamed. James never did know why she hangs out with such annoying girls. But they liked him and therefore made him good in the eyes of lily — a friend of theirs was a friend of hers!

"Who's this bloke we're staying with again?" Remus asked, sitting atop his luggage in order to flatten it. That was another rule: One cannot have any Magic linked to their person expect for their wand!.  
Indicating no shirking charms or the use of their Hogwarts trunks.

James shrugged. "Someone named Snivellus ...I think?" which in turn had Sirius cackling. 

"Oh, the poor lad!" He laughs between short intakes of breath any second now he's going to be rolling on the floor in his animagus form. Sirius always enjoyed a good laugh… especially at someone else's demise.

"Hush… This guy is basically a brother to Lily I can't get out of his good graces before I even meet him!" James exclaimed because a friend of Lily's HAD to be a friend of his. He didn't know much about this guy other then he is an essential figure in her life. This Snivellus character lives over the hill from her in a neighborhood called Spinners End with his mother. Lily had informed him it's a 'lesser area,' but that was because "greasers" inhabited that area. He was the one that introduced her to witchcraft-which is odd considering he's a muggle- that ultimately led to lily finding out about her spark. The guy was witty and blunt and had made her cry several times but only in situations where her dreams where ultimately crushed. Maybe he did save her from embarrassing herself in front of Evan rosier, but it didn't hurt any less when Severus bluntly told her how and why she would humiliate herself. Oh, and he manages to keep Lily's sister within a ten-foot radius away from them. And what Lily has told James about her, he's happy she's protected at home. 

"Oh come off it, James," Sirus said, getting control over his breath. "The guys named Snivellus. My parents don't even hate me that much."

"Oh shut up," James chuckled before a knock sounded at his door. 

"Boys, Hurry along now, we have to get to the office as early as we can get least you look suspicious arriving!" His father yelled before his steps faded down the hall. 

"Why do we have to leave so early" Sirius questioned yawning before scratching his head. "So what if a little muggles see us in broad daylight. What are we bloodsuckers?"

"No. But lily said these neighborhoods are very nosy, so we need to get there to settle in before any housewives see us," Remus answered, tying his shoelace with one last tug. James only nodded along tiredly before lifting the duffle onto his shoulders. "Come on, then!"

So they made their way from James's bedroom out to the manors back yard. His father stood there bundled in a coat and a pinched expression on his face. The forming bags under his eyes, telling enough that he wished his son took something else for a summer course. James could only smile weakly at his father, who only glared back in return. James can tell his father is calculating whether to kill him now or when Mrs.Potter was out of earshot.

"Quick question son," His father started, snatching the port key out of their reach before they could grab onto it. "This isn't because of that, Evans, is it?" 

James only blushed and sighed heavily. "No, father. I didn't even know this was a requirement." James explained as his father gazed just a moment longer before holding the portkey out to them. And as they all grabbed on, his father turned the dial before they popped out of existence. 

"Bugger that always hurts," Mr.Potter grumbled from the forest floor. Sirius and James faked gasped at the word before 000-ing. He only turned to the childish teens before smiling. "Don't tell your mother."

James only smiled, standing up from where he landed with a quick dust off. "I can be bribed." His father only groaned, mumbling something about giving birth to a girl in his next life. James only laughed before they made their way to the cottage sitting in the clearing a few paces away from them. But upon entry it looked more like a tiny Ministry with wizards, witches and even small creatures buzzing about. It was 1 o'clock in the morning, but these people moved like it was 11 am. Mr.potter only pushed the boys off towards stands that laid on the side of the building guarded by Blue Aurors, who stood in front of several doors. 

"Let them check your bags and tell them EXACTLY where you need to be. Have lily send us a letter when most convenient." The boys only nodded before Mr.Potter grabbed ahold of Sirius by the shoulders and roughly shook him. "And remember, I am your legal guardian now, so don't make any trouble for me, yeah?" He pleaded glancing at James as well. Remus only silently boasted that he wasn't included in that plea. 

"Yes sir," James Mumbled while Sirius pouted. With that, they made their way over towards the stands where they were given thorough pat-downs and had several checks and rechecks on their luggage. But finally, after about 20 minutes, they all were passed through the barrier and onto the Doors. One of the Aurors pointing out to Remus (the one that looked in charge) the third to last door on the right. 

And with that, they pushed through the doors and stepped out to… "What the Fuck is that!" James gasped, as a girl with teased Pink hair, walked past them. There was a thick, potent smell in the air that suffocated the boys as she strolled past a stick hanging from her mouth and her teeth yellow. Remus looked like he was beginning to hyperventilate before a familiar voice called out to them. They gazed over to find lily hanging one of those things…..cars(?) ushering them over.

She smiled at their hasty approach as they looked around, merely dodging every so muggle that walked their path. People were looking at them as if they were weirdos, but by their wealthy-looking attires, they were cast off as being snobby brats who've never seen "peasants" before- who else would wear such weird fashion. "You're drawing more eyes than an artist," lily laughed, jumping out of the vehicle in order to help them get their bags into the trunk of her father's pickup. 

"Don't worry when the girls came; they made a scene too." Lily laughed once everyone was settled. She forcibly put the car in drive-even with its many protests- until the engine revved how it was meant to. "Old girl needs her clutch and engine fixed." She said, and the boys only pretended to know what that meant, and with a few jerks, they were off into the early morning. 

"Now a few rules, boys," Lily started only receiving tired groans. She only tsked in response before continuing on. "One- No magic, especially at Sev's. He's a muggle and needs to be kept in the dark about these kinds of things. Also he practices a muggle version of magic and you are not to engage in it at all!. Second, thank his mother for letting you lot stay there; she's a nice woman, so don't give her grief-Sirius. Third, don't provoke any muggle you come across, you're practically defenseless without your wands. These Muggles aren't afraid to fight or pull a knife on you, especially the ones in the neighborhood you're staying in. Fourth Yo-" a loud horn sounded jolting a droopy James awake as Lily began to yell Curses. This happens a few more times until they finally came to a stop in front of a dingy little house. Only a light showing the door and a rickety pair of stairs leading up to it. 

"Wow. That's creepy," Remus mumbled just as the door opened, and a tall, dark-looking figure made their way out. 

Lily only chuckled before exiting the vehicle. "Come on, so I can introduce you to Severus."

"Severus," James mumbled, confused, wondering where the hell he got snivellus from. Sirius only snorted from the back seat. "Severus, James. SEV-ER-RUS!"

James only glared back at him before making a move to exit the car; however, upon exiting, he may have slammed the door shut. The thing was flimsy, and he hadn't meant. 

"Oi! The hell are you doing, Mate?" A voice called. "Trying to wake up the whole neighbourhood" It yelled, causing James to roll his eyes before turning to face a Pasty male. His hair was messily tied back, his nose looked broken several times over, and god was he pasty. 

"No. but with all the yelling you're doing, are you?" James retorted, Great now he was tired and angry.

"In this neighborhood, they could less than a fuck about yelling- trust me. They, however, don't fancy noises that sound like gunshots" The boy fired back in a Duh fashion. 

James only stared confusingly at what he said. "Gunshots?" Upon James's stupid question, the boy only repeated it slowly back to him. But James still didn't seem like he got the point. "Whats gun-"

"Anyway, sev!" Lily interrupted. "This lot is from the uptowns they've never seen a gun in their life. If they have, it was for shooting rare Ducks from the sky," she joked. 

Severus looked unimpressed. "they better learn quickly." before leading them inside the house. 

It wasn't too bad of a place; of course, there was the distinct 'well-lived' look, but it wasn't as run down as most of the houses on the street. Someone was obviously making repairs and bringing in a living wage, not the best but enough to upkeep and feed themselves. There were three rooms, one occupied by the boy's mother, another by Severus, and a third that was wasn't a master but could fit three boys so long as one sleep on the blowup on the floor. 

"My moms asleep right now, but don't expect to sleep past noon after you wake today. She's taking pity since you traveled, but she cooks at 8 am and only enough for who's up." The boy said as they gathered in the living room. "She also works so don't be causing a ruckus, she may seem sweet and controlled but your hollering past 10 pm she'll pull a knife on ya." 

"Good to know," Remus mumbled. Severus only dragged on the restrooms and appliances and other things to be weary on around this place before retiring back to his room with a hug to Lily. 

"Ok, before I leave," she started causing the boys to groan tired on their feet and wanting nothing more to rest. "Oh, shush! A gun is basically an Avada kamhmhm~, but it's much faster, painful, and unsuspecting. You'll drop dead before reaching for a piece of wood. Half the muggles especially in this part carry pocket knives, but still be weary one might still have a gun on them. I'm serious guys stay safe, and I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" 

James never felt better when he finally retired. 

  
It wasn't until 1:14 pm that he woke again an empty bed and just him and Severus. Well, waking up to Sirius and Remus gone and Severus leaning over him like a fucking freak. James was honestly to sacred to release a shriek and instead held awkward and frightened eye contact with the other. Maybe he is a witch, an evil dark Bellatrix in the muggle world. 

"I don't like you," his eyes held disdain as an ugly sneer reared up his mouth. Severus wasn't half bad but this, this made him look like a skinwalker. It almost made James shiver before he man-d up and kept Severus's gaze. No one wakes James up to talk badly on him…. Except for his mother but all moms do that. "Get up, you lazy heathen, Make your bed, brush your teeth. Blah blah blah. 

"Well, I don't like you either," the Gryfinndor started only to stop and think. "Well, it's not as if I have trouble functioning for guys, but … you're unbelievably pasty." 

"What?" Severus said, rearing back. 

James only continued. "Like you bathe in bleach, like when I saw you at some angles last night, you looked yellow, but now in the daylight, you just look" racking his eyes from the others forehead to his neck, he answered. "pasty really pasty."

"Wait." The blackhead teen said, rearing up fully. 

"Have you ever seen the sun is this one of those parts in Britain where the sky is only rainclouds" James pressed on lifting onto his elbows and forearms to keep his gaze on the pasty teen.

"No, stop" James didn't know if he heard the boy's insecurity peeking through or his confusion on how quick James flipped his script.

"Because you are as pale as a-" he was soon cut off by an annoyed shout. "I said, stop!" Severus enforced. "christ, you're annoying."

The quidditch player only looked confused before saying very slowly. "I mean, you literally woke me up to tell me that you didn't like me" how on earth was he the annoying one. James had just won the quidditch cup and swooping down the field to the many models waiting to congratulate him on another win… for the third time in a row. What can he say he was an Allstar in his dream, way better than that no good 'best player in the world 'Viktor Krum'. Best player his ass, James quickly side swooped him in his dream so he must suck.

"I was doing the best friend/bother thing. I'm not fucking dumb; I saw you looking at lily."

James, the innocent bullshitter he was rebutted. "Well, she was talking; it's only polite."

"No! You know what nevermind," he said before storming out of the room. James only smirked before dragging his hand through his hair and getting up to face the day. 


End file.
